"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

~ Anais Nin

“I was probably a troublesome child with my curiosity, because I asked a lot of questions and I loved to just sit in a room with grown people talking, anyone talking. My mother has told me how I would sit between two people, setting off for a ride in the car, as we used to do on Sunday, and say, ‘Now start talking!’ My ears would just open like morning glories.”

-       Eudora Welty, in an interview with Jean Todd Freeman, from Conversations with Eudora Welty

"The moment between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place."

- Barbara de Angelis, author and relationship consultant

"If I had known what my future would be while I was in college, I certainly would have studied botany and horticulture. Books provide a wealth of information, however, and I believe that experience is the greatest teacher."

- Alice Callaway, Trustee of the Callaway Foundation speaking about her role in the preservation of the gardens at "Hills and Dales" estate in LaGrange, Georgia. From The American Woman's Garden, by Rosemary Verey and Ellen Samuels

"I didn't set out to be a photographer. I wanted to be a marine biologist, although I ended up with a degree in anthropology and religion. Those disciplines turned out to be marvelous tools in exploring my real fascination--how science allows us to understand ourselves and how that shapes our destiny."

- Karen Kasmauski, from Women Photographers at National Geographic

"I walked for twenty-eight days in all, from one full moon to the next, starting out with a backpack full of prissy toiletries, trendy halter tops, Band-Aids, and traveler's checks. By the time I wriggled out of my dinged-up pack for the last time, I had pared down to one change of clothes and a toothbrush."

-Abigail Seymour, from "Go Beyond!: A Pilgrimage to Santiago Initiates a Search for 'Home'," in A Woman's Path

Make a Date for an Inspirational Outing

We all need an inspirational boost every once in awhile. It's a great way to get out of a rut or simply infuse our thoughts and activities with fresh thinking. Years ago, when reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, I fell in love with the concept of artist dates—taking some time each week to do something or go somewhere that inspires you. She refers to it as a “once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you.” For more than a year, I went on these dates religiously—maybe not every week, but just about. And through the years, I have always come back to the concept when I’m feeling I could use a quick burst of energy or inspiration.

Yesterday was one of those days, so I hopped in my car and headed for Sam Flax—an art supply store in Atlanta that never fails to ignite my creative juices. (By the way, for those of you who are Sam Flax afficionados, the store recently moved to Peachtree Street, across from Brookwood Station.) There I thumbed through wonderful books on graphic design, strolled slowly through aisles of art supplies, dreamed of developing new portfolios to go in those beautiful cases, and marveled over many of the uniquely designed products they offer—like the small, squishable containers that you can force-fit into your desk drawers.

Although Cameron gave it a name and made it a habit, the act of looking elsewhere for inspiration has been around, well, probably forever. A simple walk in the woods or a garden—if we slow down, pay attention, and allow our minds to wander—is a wonderful source of inspiration. We can go to museums, galleries, libraries, bookshops, artists’ studios and retail shops with really cool stuff. We can visit a friend who inspires us, or go to a park to watch children play. A restaurant with unique décor and an innovative menu might do the trick. It doesn’t matter, as long as it inspires by opening our eyes and minds to fresh ideas.

One of the keys to making these outings successful, I’ve discovered, is capturing ideas as they occur. Sometimes they come in a flood, generating lots of excitement. They can be washed away just as quickly. So I keep a tiny notepad and pen with me on my artist date—to jot down words, phrases or short thoughts. And then I conclude my date by grabbing a bite to eat, alone, afterward. I use this time to reflect in my journal—again, a way to capture my thoughts and begin to expand on them. Whether you take a half hour or half day, an inspirational outing is a wonderful way to give your week a boost.

"I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows."

– Drew Barrymore

Photo ©Lee Anne White

"The older we get, the more we understand that the women who know and love us--and love us despite what they know about us--are the joists that hold up the house of our existence. Everything depends on them.

- Anna Quindlen, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

A Natural Woman (Review)

I was 11 years old when Carole King's Tapestry topped the album charts for 15 weeks. Although it may be an odd choice for a child, "So Far Away" struck a chord with me. It was my first year at summer camp, and leaving friends behind was painful. The song played on the 8-track-tape as we pulled away from camp and headed home. That's how music is. It resonates within us, connects us to moments, people, places and emotions. It often expresses feelings we can't. Reading Carole King's memoir, A Natural Woman, did that, too. It brought back memories from my childhood and teen years that I haven't thought of in years, if not decades.

King writes with honesty and vulnerability, sharing her life's many ups and downs. She is a mother of four, the first of whom was born when she was only 17. She's had four husbands--including one who physically and emotionally abused her and later died of a cocaine overdose. In addition to a lifetime in music, she has had an acting career in film, on Broadway, and on stages in Europe. At the height of her career, when she could have lived just about anywhere she chose, she chose to live in a small cabin in Idaho, where the winter temperatures routinely hovered in the double digits below zero. And she did so with no electricity.

King has had a phenomenal career as a singer and songwriter. Tapestry not only topped the charts for an extended period, but remained on them for six years. She has produced nearly 40 albums, written or co-written more than 400 songs performed by more than 1,000 artists, is the recipient of numerous Grammys, and has written for or collaborated with some of the biggest names in music: Aretha Franklin, James Taylor, Gerry Goffin, David Crosby and Graham Nash are among them. 

If you're interested in music, you'll find a wonderful history of music in the 50s, 60s and 70s here. She also does a great job conveying the spirit and politics of the times and putting the 60s in perspective. You'll also learn about her early days, her education, and how she broke into the music scene, as well as about her creative process and development as a performing artist. For instance, she talks about the frustration that accompanies breakthrough ideas:

"When I hit a wall I usually stop and do something else. This effectively turns the problem over to my subconscious mind, which keeps working on it under the radar. When I return to the task, my subconscious has often solved the probelm before my ego has time to assert control."

King's music continues to inspire, and now that I know more about her life and how she managed to keep creating despite the many challenges she faced along the way, I have even more respect for her than before. 

A Natural Woman, by Carole King. Grand Central Publishing, 2012. Hardcover, 496 pp, $27.99. Available electronically.

Spacek's Extraordinary Ordinary Life

It must be the season for memoirs. Week one: Carole King. Week two: Anna Quindlen. Week three (that's this week): Sissy Spacek's My Extraordinary Ordinary Life, with Maryanne Vollers.

Spacek grew up as a tomboy in East Texas--running barefoot, riding horses, tagging along with her brothers. (Although that didn't stop her from twirling batons or being named homecoming queen in high school.) She later moved to New York, where she studied at The Actor's Studio and sang in Greenwich Village coffeehouses. She captivated audiences with her Oscar-nominated performance in Carrie and Best Actress performance as Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter, in which she performed the songs, as well. Altogether, she has been nominated for six Oscars and has appeared in dozens of other movies, including In the Bedroom and, more recently, The Help.

If you're interested, here are several advanced reviews and interviews:

NPR Fresh Air Interview

Associated Press Book Review

National Post Review

Inside the Actor's Studio, an interview with James Lipton (2002)

"Performing wasn't something to fear; it was merely a larger circle of collaboration. The more I communicated my joy to the audience, the more joy they communicated back to me. All I needed to do was sing with conviction, speak my truth from the heart, honestly and straightforwardly, and offer my words, ideas, and music to the audience as if it were one collective friend that I'd known for a very long time. I had found the key to success in performing. It was to be authentically myself."

Carole King, on overcoming her fear of performing, from her recently released memoir: A Natural Woman

We're All Enough

Last week, I looked at a recent photograph of myself and realized I looked my age. What surprised me is that I was okay with that. In fact, I even ordered a print that is now framed and sits of my desk as a reminder. I suspect Anna Quindlen might understand.

In an interview with NPR about her lastest book, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake: A Memoir, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and novelist Anna Quindlen shares: "After all those years as a woman hearing 'Not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,' almost over night I woke up one morning and thought, 'I'm enough."

NPR has also posted a review of her book and an excerpt. The book has already been downloaded to my Kindle and is next on my reading list. First I must finish Carole King's A Natural Woman. Both books were released just this month.

Regardless of your age, if you're a woman, I believe you'll appreciate the NPR interview.

Introverts in an Extrovert World

One-third to one-half of us are introverts living in an extrovert's world. Susan Cain, the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts, talks about the power of introversion, the role of introverts as leaders, and the connection between solitude and creativity. For the record, that doesn't mean introverts are better than extroverts--only that there is a necessary place for both in this world, and that we must learn to honor both our own temperament and the temperament of others. 

Defining Moments: Kathrine Switzer

We all have moments that help define who we are. For Kathrine Switzer, one of those key moments came during the 1967 Boston Marathon. She was the first woman to enter this race and, as you'll see in the following video, not everyone thought that was such a good idea. As she says in this short NPR interview, "That race changed my life."

Watch Kathrine Switzer on PBS. See more from Makers: Women Who Make America.

Switzer finished the race in 4 hours, 20 minutes. And it did change her life. She went on to run 35 marathons and won the New York City Marathon. She founded Atalanta Sports Promotions in 1982, staged more than 300 races around the world for women, led the drive to get the women's marathon included in the 1984 Olympics, and wrote a book called Marathon Woman. Runner's World magazine named her Female Runner of the Decade and one of six Running Visionaries of the Century. She still runs every day and, more recently, has begun blogging about her running adventures.

This year marks the 40th anniversary since women have been allowed to enter the Boston Marathon (and the 45th since Switzer first ran it, unauthorized), as well as the 40th anniversary of Title IX. 

"...I feel that my life is a gift that I want to try to use as wisely as I can. I want to make use of each of these amazing days that come my way to try to make a bit of difference--to think things through, perhaps get new ideas, to talk to people, to write, to do my bit. You know, you get certain gifts, and I had a gift of speaking, lecturing, which makes people listen. It's a gift--it's an amazing gift. And I have the gift for writing. So I must use those gifts, and I try to."

- Jane Goodall, from Daring to Be Ourselves by Marianne Schnall

Source: schoodoodle.com via Lee on Pinterest

Weighing in on the College-Cost Debate

A lot of media attention recently has been focused on the question: Is college worth the cost? And the answers provided often revolve around the future paychecks of those pursuing different majors. Is that really all that college worth comes down to? I hope not.

Yes, college is expensive. And yes, students are graduating with unprecedened debt--which raises some serious questions. Somehow we need to get those costs under control. But college doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. It’s sort of like cars: You can drive a new, top-of-the-line luxury vehicle or an economy car from the used lot down the street. As long they run, both can get you where you’re going. The question is, which one is right for you? Does it offer the features you need at a price you are willing to pay? In the college world, you also have cost differences between public and private schools, in-state and out-of-state tuition, online and on-site programs, and varying amounts of scholarships funds available. In other words, you can find an excellent program at a variety of price ranges. 

One of the things that has supposedly changed over the years is that a college degree no longer guarantees a job. But did it ever? There was a time when college degrees may have opened more doors, but whether or not one was able to hold down a job has always had more to do with performance than credentials. Today, there are many jobs that you can’t even apply for unless you have a college degree. And in a job market as tight as the one we’re currently in, not having that degree could land many resumes in the wastebasket before the individual is even given a shot at a phone interview. That said, a college degree isn't for everyone. It's more important for some fields than others, and not everyone is inclined toward higher education. What's more important than getting a college degree is figuring out what you're good at, what gives your life  meaning, and pursuing it in whatever way is appropriate.

Before you choose a college, it's important to understand why you are going to college. If it solely for job training or career advancement, then choose a college or other educational program that provides the right kind of training at the right price and, ideally, in the shortest time possible. Get those credentials and go. If you don’t know what you want to do with your life, you can take some time out to work, think about it and explore different fields before making the financial commitment to college. If you’re exploring a few options and just haven’t made up your mind yet, college can actually be a great environment in which to figure that out. 

But a good college experience is about much more than career training. College teaches advanced-level thinking skills and provides opportunities for leadership development that are often far more important than any career training. These are skills and experiences that will help an individual succeed in any field, as well as in life itself. For those attending college immediately following high school,  especially for those living on campus, college offers a great transition from family life to independent living and an opportunity to embrace diversity, as well as to learn skills such collaboration and conflict resolution. College is a great place to establish lifelong friendships and colleagues.

Of course, as with anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. There are those who dive in headfirst and make the most of their experience, and then there are those who do the minimum just get by (sometimes due to other priorities in life, other times because they're just not engaged). In the end, the value of a college education may have more to do with one’s attitude and experiences than what they pay for it.

Liberating Ourselves From Stereotypes of Aging

People are living longer than ever before. But as cultural anthropologist and writer Mary Catherine Bateson points out: We haven't added 30 years to old age, we've inserted 30 years before it. In this 10-minute TedXWomen video, she urges us to "liberate ourselves from the stereotypes of aging" because these "stereotypes we internalized are out of date." Indeed, she notes that we are making up this new phase of life as we go along because it never existed before. Women entering Second Adulthood are rethinking who they are and what they want. It is an exciting time, and it comes with both new opportunities and new responsibilities. Watch and listen to see what she believes those are.

In addition to her research and writing, Bateson has taught at Harvard University, Amherst College, George Mason University, Northeastern University and Spelman College. She served as the president of the Institute for Intercultural Studies in New York for 30 years, and currently lives in New Hampshire where she writes and is a visiting scholar for Center on Aging and Work at Boston College. Her earliest reseach was conducted in the Middle East, and she has lived in The Phillipines and Iran. She is the author or co-author of many books. Composing a Life is one of my favorites--one written about and for women. Her most recent title is a follow-up, Composing a Further Life: The Age of Active Wisdom. 

An Interview with Photographer Susan Burnstine

Susan Burnstine is a Los Angeles-based fine art photographer and journalist whose hauntingly beautiful black-and-white images are displayed in galleries around the world and have been widely published. Her first monograph, Within Shadows, has been published by Charta. In this YouTube interview, she talks about how dreams have served as the inspiration for her latest work.